A Life for a Life
by Chels17
Summary: "I don't want to kill you, Lexa... But I will win." -OR- The conversation when Luna tells Lexa she's fleeing the Conclave right before the fight she would have won and why. One-shot.
_Author's note: Here's just a quick one-shot that started to form in my mind after a friend and I were speculating yesterday about Luna's backstory. More and more ideas kept coming, and when they start playing like a movie in my mind, I know I have to write them into a story. I thought this one would be a fun read, so I'm posting it for you lovely people, along with some explanation of my theories in my note at the end with minor 3x14 spoilers if you aren't caught up. Let me know what you think. Enjoy!_

* * *

Lexa leaned her head back and closed her eyes, focusing on her other senses. She smiled as she felt the sun's warmth and a cool breeze on her face. The bustle of hundreds of people moving about the city could be heard far in the distance, but she tried to block them out. Lexa took a deep breath and smelled the fresh grass beneath her. Her heart grew sorrowful, and she wondered if this was the last time she would sense all these things. Her first fight that morning had not lasted long, but this next one would be different. Lexa's reverie was broken by the sound of approaching footsteps. She opened her eyes slowly, reluctant to lose this moment, and was shocked at who she saw.

"What are you doing here?"

Luna shrugged. "I came to eat with you. Just like we used to do nearly every day."

Lexa kept her guard up. "Except all those other days didn't involve us fighting to the death."

"Relax." Luna laughed. "I'm not going to try and kill you here. I still have my honor." She sat down next to her comrade and pulled some food from a knapsack. "So, how has your training gone with Anya? You've been with her for a year now, right?"

"Yes, and we've fought in several battles together. She's a fantastic mentor and a fierce warrior."

Luna gave a small smile. "I believe it."

"And Derrick's still your mentor, right?"

"Yes. Though we have not been in as many battles, he has taught me a great deal."

Lexa chuckled. "You're certainly more of a pacifist now than you were before."

Luna's eyes locked onto the other girl's. "Sometimes seeking the path of nonviolence takes more strength."

"Nonviolence is going to win you the Conclave. But you already know that."

Luna's expression became pained and she looked away.

Lexa sighed. "I'm sorry about your brother. That was cruel to pit you against him in the first round."

"And I'm sorry you had to kill Astor."

Lexa stared into the horizon. "I wish it didn't have to be like this."

Luna chuckled. "Yeah, it would be nice if we could just have a battle of the wits to see who would become Heda, right? Then you would win. You're definitely the best strategist out of all of us, I'll give you that. Plus, you're Titus' favorite."

Lexa met Luna's gaze. "Well, that isn't the case, though, is it? Instead we endure as many rounds of single combat as it takes until there's only one of us left standing. And after we've spent most of our lives together..."

Luna nodded. "And most of our group wasn't even old enough to receive a mentorship."

"You say 'wasn't' like they're all dead already."

Luna shrugged. "Half of them are." She hesitated for a moment. "I don't want to kill you, Lexa."

"And I sure as hell don't want to die. I hope you know you aren't going to have an easy fight with me."

"But I will win."

"You don't know that. We've never fought against each other when our lives were at stake."

"But I will win," Luna insisted. "You're a damn good fighter, Lexa, but I'm three years older and have the strength and speed that come with more experience. You've only bested me a handful of times. Out of _hundreds_."

Lexa looked away and steeled herself. "Today will be different."

"I'm counting on it, actually."

Lexa's brow furrowed. "What do you mean?"

Luna took a deep breath and let it out. "I have a proposal for you: A life for a life."

"I don't understand..."

"Shit, I wish there were a better way to tell you. I'm pregnant, Lex."

Lexa's jaw dropped and she lowered her voice to a whisper, though no one was close enough to hear them anyway. "How long have you known?" Lexa thought for a moment, then shifted away from the other girl. "No - you're just trying to get inside my head. Is this your own version of a battle of the wits? Trying to make me feel conflicted about fighting you?"

"No, Lexa." Luna's eyes darted around to make sure no one was looking. "Feel for yourself." She knelt and straightened her back, pulling her shirt flush against her stomach. She smirked. "You know I would normally have abs of steel."

Lexa studied her carefully, gauging if this was just a ruse, then lifted her hand to the other girl's stomach. "Oh my god." Lexa sat back, eyes filled with shock and dread. "You really are pregnant."

Luna nodded. "About three months now, by my estimate."

Lexa shook her head. "How could you have let this happen? Titus already forbids love, let alone _this._ " Lexa gestured to her stomach and Luna swatted her hand away.

"Hey, don't go drawing any more attention to it. No one can know."

"Even if you do win today and become Heda, it's only a matter of time before you won't be able to hide it. Do you honestly think Heda will be allowed to have a child? Best case scenario is you'll have to give it up."

Luna's face remained stoic. "And I'm not willing to do that."

"Then what exactly is your proposition? You said 'a life for a life'."

"Yes. Pregnant or not, I will still beat you, Lex, but I'm not willing to give up my baby, whether by my death today or its death when it's discovered. Though I was terrified when I first realized I would have a child, the idea of having a life with this baby gives me so much joy, Lex. I can't even describe how it feels. I figured I only needed a few more months to have it in secret, but now that's not possible. So here's my proposition: I leave the Conclave. I go now, which makes you the clear champion. Titus will want to hunt me down and kill me for being a deserter, but you as Heda will command him to stand down and leave me be. Besides, I may be the more skilled fighter right now, but you are far better suited to command. You were born for this, not me. I intend to never kill again."

"Then why did you return for the Conclave at all? You could have avoided fighting against your brother."

Luna shook her head. "I needed to have the assurance that I will be allowed to live, and as much as I loved my little brother, he could not have given that to me." She gave Lexa a pointed look. "Only Heda could do that. Besides, I would have rather had him die quickly and mercifully by my own hand."

Lexa didn't know what to say. She sat in stunned silence for a full minute just processing everything that had been revealed. She finally lifted her eyes to meet Luna's again and nodded. "A life for a life."

Luna took Lexa's hand and looked at her intently. "Thank you, Heda. Now go win your Conclave. I will leave now."

"What, now?"

"When else? No one is paying us any attention, and our fight is scheduled to begin in a half hour. There is no other time."

Lexa nodded. "Where will you go?"

"With Derrick. We'll join a different group within our clan and begin a new life."

Lexa's eyes widened in understanding. "He's the father."

"Yes." Luna nodded. "I love him."

Lexa gave a small smile. "I can't fault you for that."

Luna grinned. "Her name's Costia, right?"

"Yes, and thanks to you, I'm sure I'll see her again."

Luna nodded. "Rule well, Lexa, and remember that as wise as Titus is, he doesn't have all the answers. Trust yourself."

"I will. Thank you. I hope to see you again one day, Luna." Lexa smiled. "To meet your child."

"I hope so too, Lex. Good luck." Luna gave a slight nod and then fled into the nearby forest.

Lexa let out a long breath, still reeling from their conversation. Now instead of two fights, only one stood between her and the throne - but more importantly, her life. Lexa knew she couldn't become complacent when the fight was not yet over, but she was the second-best fighter of all the novitiates, and hope started to rise within her again.

She was going to win.

* * *

 _Author's note: I haven't heard the writers give any backstory to how Lexa could be a Nightblood trained in Polis and be Anya's second. So, to fill in the blanks, my headcanon is that at 15 the Nightbloods are assigned a warrior mentor from their home clan to train with. The thinking behind this would be that the Nightbloods' training on how to be Heda - fight training as well as education in government and politics - would be concluded when they were 15. Whatever time remained until the next Conclave began would be spent training with their mentor among their native clan._

 _Now for my Luna theories. I wonder if she adopted her lifestyle of nonviolence to help conceal the fact that she is a Nightblood - no fighting means fewer chances to bleed. And I would not be surprised if the girl ALIE tried to use against Luna in 3x14 is her child. Luna had shown the girl more affection than the other children at the beginning of the episode, and that would be a fascinating twist. I imagine Luna had her child in secret, then approached the boat clan with a child she "found" who she said had been orphaned by war. People would accept her motherly instincts for a baby she was taking care of in the wilderness without assuming she was the actual mother. The girl calls Luna by her first name in the episode, so my guess is the girl doesn't know Luna is her biological mother, or knows it's a secret._

 _Honestly, most of my fics start out like this - I have all these questions about the world and characters that I desperately want answered, so I just create my own theories that can plausibly fit in with the story we already know. I love theorizing about all of it, and I hope you've enjoyed this little headcanon story filler. :)_


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